She was beautiful, the kind of beauty you’d want locked up an ivory tower to keep away from the harsh realities of this world, the untainted beauty or maybe it is all in my head because as the wise say beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder. I could swear she was shining or maybe my eyes were hazy from too much sunlight.
I was stuck on the ground and she was moving but as much as wanted to go after, I couldn’t because what would I say, am shy and very awkward and flirting isn’t my best suit. So yes, she was gone, felt like I had lost money on a bad bet. I am scared shitless of stalkers I mean why the hell would you stalk someone? Why not talk to them instead? That’s what I kept asking my friends, you know how you try to convince people to believe in something so that you won’t feel guilty believing it too? yeah, I tried to make them accept that sometimes stalking is justifiable.
I kept going back to the kibanda that I saw her at daily hoping to see her again, it was really far from home but I was craving to see that face and we all know you can’t ignore cravings no matter how much you try. I was obsessed: a crush will do that to you. I didn’t see her for 2 weeks , you’d think I’d have given up by then but think again , I’d go there for months if I had to am stubborn and weird like that but I didn’t have to because on the next Saturday at 4.18pm I got lucky, I saw her fading back as she walked away, don’t you dare judge me I know I saw her once how would I know her back? But you forget something: she was already imprinted in my brain and I didn’t even know her name.
Fast forward two weeks later I bump into her unexpectedly, she is carrying a red paper bag which slips and hits the ground and githeri scatters everywhere, you can’t pick up cooked scattered maize and beans now can you? So, I apologize and offer to buy her githeri, my angel glares at me like she’s embarrassed and mad but all I see is glowing face.
“Let go” she mutters and I realize am holding her hand which I drop like a coal on fire. First impressions matter people, I’ve ruined mine but that doesn’t mean I can’t have a bomb ass second impression “second chances” and all that philosophy. We walk 5 steps back to where she bought the food, I buy and then she turns to leave. Oh, hell no! not so fast sugar it won’t work like that. I run towards her and she’s surprised to find me beside her, she looks suspicious of me but she tells me she is Isabella. “what do you want?” she asks, straightforward I dig that, I tell her just her number and she looks at me like I’ve suddenly turned into poppy.” Why the hell would you want my number, are you crazy, please tell me yore not a serial killer, am not like that, I like guys,” she rambles on. If you’ve met me you know I love getting in the last word so I let her. “I want to be friends not a couple honey” I tell her. She looks shocked and I smile knowing she didn’t expect that. I never want to be her friend but I don’t tell her that. She gives me her number and I call her to be sure she didn’t give me a morgue’s attendant number; we live in Nairobi am sure you’ve done it or thought about it.
I hate texting so I call her that night we don’t talk much but I just want to hear her voice even for 5 minutes. I am a lost cause already but am not even ashamed. I call her again a week later and from then on, we talk almost daily and meet up often. This goes on for 6months 2weeks 3days when she invites me to her place to hang out. Happy is an understatement of how I feel, I know we spent time together but somehow this feels different, I dress up, shave up because you never know a girl might get lucky.
I haven’t felt this excited in years and am 23 that says a lot. She lives with her cousin and her kid who are MIA thanks to the baby daddy.
So, we talk for hours about nothing in particular, order pizza, watch a movie then its time for me to leave. She walks me to the door and then “I like you Lisa, I really like like you” she whispers. I feel butterflies in my stomach but I keep walking towards the door like I didn’t hear her then I can’t take it anymore I turn and kiss my angel. It feels like the definition of insanity but she’s my clarity.